Yep Folks, THREE LB's! Not gonna lie, I'm pretty freakin' stoked about that! And I'm not doin' the oh so popularized 500 calorie HCG, eating myself inside-out, then gain it all back thing, or the "Don't make me gag down another bite of chicken"Adkin's shiz, nor am I doing the whole, Weigh-in in front of other people bull crap so I can feel badly enough about myself to lose the weight. Just a good healthy, protein-filled diet and exercise.
I'm realistic; I know that my lard butt can't handle running 6 miles; shoot, I can barely make it to the mailbox and back without taking a breather!
So, here's how day one went;
I didn't exactly wake-up in the morning feeling like P-diddy, how DOES that feel? Frankly, that scares me a little bit; does that mean I have an STD from all the random one-nighter's? Hmm...let's not go there. I did however, throw back a 25g low-carb, whey protein shake with some shady looking strawberries; I mean seriously, what happened to those things? So, despite the worry of puking it up later, I tossed in some splenda, vanilla and some ice. Not too shabby, and then I scrambled a couple of eggs, which apparently is what your brain looks like on drugs, so kids, stay in school, and avoid the creepy drug-dealer in the corner.
While you're at it, avoid People that look like this,
This,
And definitely this!
I then jog/walked/gasped/cried my way through 2 miles, 20 lunges and 20 push ups (yup, girly style, I'll own that!). "Crisco Mama, seriously, 2 miles, that's it?!"
Yeah, shove it! That's what I can do! And frankly, I'm not throwing things into hyper-speed to hurt myself or make me hate it; I'm LITERALLY starting from square one! So, if that's pathetic to you, why are you still reading!? I don't care that you kick A at P90x; so what if I can only make it through the warm-up....almost. Seriously, stop reading already!
So, then I ate a little snackipoo, some cottage cheese, which was vaguely depressing, as it reminded me of my thighs, stomach, knees, arms, and well, you get the picture; I just figure that's my punishment for having Lived Beyond My Seams (I never cease to amaze and amuse myself, I'm so clever throwing in the title like that!) Then, I ate a salad with chicken and a balsamic dressing...WOW, I am beginning to annoy my MYSELF, sounding like one of THOSE girls, so suffice to say, I am awesome, and I ate 5 meals, which I've continued, yesterday and today, and will happily send you my secrets if you email me, except, I won't divulge any secrets about that time in college when I "accidentally" used my roommate's toothbrush to clean the bathr...crap, scratch that! Hahahahaha (nervous laugh), I'm joking, I'm joking. I would never do that. (I'm really sorry Brittney)
Hmm...I better stop while I'm ahead....err something.
